14396: Burnham replies to Du Tuyau's ti gout sel (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: thor burnham <thorald_mb@hotmail.com>

Posted by Thor Burnham in Port-au-Prince:

Dear Tet Cho Truthfully so:

A very good analogy. I understand what you are saying. But i'm still not
completely clear on the zombi remedy. I mean, I understand that if you don't
want to be a zombie again you simply have to eat salt. That's clear; kle kom
dlo nan kokoye. You're right, a former zombie would always have to put a
little salt in everything, just to make sure. You know, just like spitting
after you pipi by the side of the road...can't be too careful.

My good friend here used to bow his head and cross himself everytime he saw
a cross, or went by a church, or saw a tree that looked like a cross. When I
asked him why he did that he said his priest told him it was a good way to
keep him focused on God, but mostly to give him protection from the djab. He
didn't want to take any chances so he always did it wherever he went...but
one day he did it while he was driving and got into a bad accident.  Now,
he's much more careful and he doesn't believe his priest anymore. At least,
not everything.

But Ti Moulue, I think too much salt can make you sick, can't it? What
happens if the people who were zombies put salt in everything, not just in
the oatmeal? Even in the jus chadek? It would be kind of like drinking sea
water, wouldn't it? Sure, it might give you some quick relief, but ouch, you
gotta pay later. Lots of side effects. And you could drown. Too much salt
could be very bad, don't you think?

Oh, and another thing, what kind of salt are you supposed to give the
zombie? Is it supposed to be sel lakay from, say, La Saline near O Cap? Or
can it be imported? If they imported it would they call it Sel La Paix, for
example? What if you get salt that's no good? What if they give you
something that's not salt, but they tell you its salt, and you don't believe
them, but they use bel, bel langaj to convince you that it is salt?

By the way, how much is enough salt? Is their a particular amount? And who
is it that gives the zombie that first taste of salt, the taste that brings
them out of zombification? What did your mother say about that? Is it a
friend, family, a houngan, a mambo, a priest? Whoever it is, they must have
a lot of power over that person, pa vre?

It kind of reminds me of the machan granmoun who sits outside the gate
selling ti bonbon. She's very old, but very wise. A while back when i was
buying a little casino cocunut cracker from her i was approached by someone
in the neighbourhood who borrowed some money from me, but never paid it
back. They came and asked for more. At first i said no, you didn't pay me
back the last time, or the time before that. But the person kept giving me
all kinds of nice compliments, saying that my hair was growing back and that
i pedi poids and that i was a bel gason. The whole time they kept rubbing my
arm and patting my back. "Bon dieu ap beni ou, wi!" They kept asking and
finally i relented and i gave them some money. A loan, i said, you have to
pay me back. They said they would. After the person left i returned to my
purchase. The old woman started to laugh. I asked her what was so funny.
"Ah, misye! Rat mode siffle."

Have a good day Ti Moulue. Try and stay warm. Hopefully one day you will see
the UFO's and the Northern Lights. Oh, and congratulations on your new ti
menage. Enfom. bel bagay. But i think i'm going to ease up on the salt. My
doctor says it's affecting my health.

best,
Thor Burnham

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