15289: Du Tuyau: Fwd: Haiti Government on life support (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: ViandeMoulue@aol.com

Dear Mister Bob,

This information news I find on the internet website www.www.news.haiti/united.states.politik.moun.fou.com. I like to know if possible you publish for me on your beautiful list for email, this news about Haiti.          *****************************************In a detailed interviewing last week fo the Haitian president of Haiti, Mister Aristide was asked what he thinks happens if he loses the power like the president of Iraq. Mister Aristide replied in his beautifully colloquial French, like a good Frenchie: "Après moi, le néant" or in beautiful English, "After me, nothingness".
As if he wanted to let the US know that he is there like the dog guarding the big imperial house, he sat under a sign that reads in French again: "Attention, chien méchant", or in beautiful English, "Beware of dog".
The opposition accuses Mister Aristide of stealing the elections of 2000 May and November of that year 2000. So the journalist asked Mister Aristide that very question nicely, gingerely, skillfully, and most definitely. Mister Aristide replied with his normal ease, tainted with priestly populist imagery as usually usual:
"Dear Sir journalist, I no steal elections; I steal the people's heart with beautiful language; they trust for me like the poor trusted in Jesus of Nazareth; the opposition no understand yet that they are like the Pharisians in my little bible I sleep with every night under my pillow".
Finally, the journalist asked Mister Aristide how he feels that the American government is putting his gouvernement on life support; one week the journalist tell him, Otto Reich come to Haiti, give you ultimatum, and say that maybe if you do good job, they forget Convergence people and no care if they don't go for elections. Following week, they have meeting at OAS in Washington and Mister Peter De Shwatzo-Zwazo says that maybe Haiti become United Nations like League of Nations pariah.
Mister Aristide think, and think, and thinking a little more say for response to journalist. "Dear Mister journalist, you're right. No only me and my gouvernement on life support; Convergence too is on life support. At least I can call chimère to the streets and make sure they get une bonne raclée, kout rigwaz; at least I can fight and play and sometimes even breathe without that life support; but jou sa-a, that day Sir yes jou sa-a jou sa-a that the Unied States American president decides to remove life support from Convergence, they'll drop to the floor quick quicker because they no will not have money to have 184 opposition groups in one divided by 1 equals convergence 2 -squared -au-carré. They will have to learn to survive on their own little self and if they really care for Haiti and people like they say all time, they will have to learn to do politics with no money. As you know Sir, I do politics with no money but lots of substantially beautiful sentences ... Well, almost no money. I have friend in high places who drop money from the skies, sometimes he he he. That day, we will know who is the rooster in the yard, in the lakou.
Right now, the United States gouvernement is doing with both of us Convergence et Lavalas, the politique of roule m' de bó, the "keeping-them-both-bastards-off-balance"; one week they for me; one week later, they for Convergence. Meanwhile, people Haitians suffer more, and more, and more. Well, except for me and my entourage, and Convergence and their wealthy entourage too. We have our little money not too much but we could have more to share if we all decided to have elections so we all, Convergence and Lavalas could share the cake and pie and apple pie together. But they no want to share the 500 million dola with Lavalas. They want it all for them only. That why is why all these problems.
At that time, journalist run home and left the Palais National, saying that he is not in gossip (mwen pa lan zen), and took a bus Service Plus to Champ de Mars, to go listen to Rasin music at Mister Morse's place.        *******************************************For all new releases on the latest gossip called Haitian politics, please visit: http://www.www.news.haiti/united.states.politik.moun.fou.com
Jean Du Tuyau once again, lost his mind while going to the Port-au-Prince Psychatric Center to see Docteur Douyon