16540: LcDewey Re: 16535: Lafleur: RE: 16535: Laleau: Re: 16434: Cunningham: More of (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: Lc Dewey <lcdewey@hotmail.com>


Lourdes Lafleur:

<< I have never been a voodoo follower myself, even though I do recognize
>voodoo as a very important part of my cultural identity, and, no matter how
>much Haitian Christians want to deny it hypocritically, voodoo plays and
>will always play a very important in every Haitian person's life.
>
>Voodoo has destroyed my family and that is a very painful experience that
>I've been living for the past month. Some people in my well to do Haitian
>family do believe in it and even the most trivial ailment can be attributed
>to the meanness of someone else in the immediate family just because the
>"houngan" said so. >>

How can anyone with good sense blame this on Voodoo if they know
that the Hougan always makes this statement in totally general terms;
that the Hougan does not  say  the malfèktè's name or give any specific
details
to identify this malfèktè; that the Hougan makes this general statement
usually  in response to  clients who indicate they want to know
WHO in the family is hurting them.  In other words, these clients first had
the idea or belief firmly planted in their mind. Then, they went to the
Hougan
in order to have an authority figure give them permission to verbalize and
act
upon this belief.   In those cases, the Hougan simply tells the clients what
they tell him they want to hear. This has nothing to do with Voodoo as a
religion.
This is just an expectation  the clients have of the Hougan as an authority
figure.
The clients of their own volition  decide who they want  the malfèktè to be.
That "someone else in the immediate family"  is a specific scapegoat.
so designated, at birth or at a young age, by the family for any number of
reasons including  medical complications experienced during the birth to the
scapegoat, lack of money in the family at the time
of the scapegoat's birth, and  animosity toward the scapegoat's father.
>
>
Lourdes Lafleur:

<< There is no way, anyone with good sense can make them
>believe otherwise and for the past month we have been at each other's
>throats.
>
>Can anyone on the list help me with this very delicate and painful matter?
>Is there a way to convince, the doctors, the accountants, the engineers of
>my family that adversity, sickness, pain and death are part of life and
>that
>they do not happen because one of their peers made them happen? >>

The doctors, the accountants, the engineers of your family have been
relating in this manner with their family scapegoats  long before they
became doctors, accountants, and engineers.  This belief system is the  tool
their significant caregiver(s) taught them to use in order to maintain
balance,
homeostasis, and survive  in the face of these specific adversities.
Not everyone has the same exact survival belief system.  But, everyone
survives
only because of their own specific survival belief system.
>
>
Lourdes Lafleur:

<< Can someone
>on the Corbett list come up with one phrase or sentence that will make them
>change their minds?>>

It is very very difficult, almost impossible, to convince people to change
their system for survival while it is working for them, while it is keeping
them alive and obviously very productive members of society.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is LIVE AND LET LIVE.

LcDewey

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