18499: Du Tuyau: Secret Revelation (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: ViandeMoulue@aol.com

Hi all people. I just got the wonderful news. We now almost have new government. Aristide is going away, in the smokes of passing time of the world. Mister Winter Etienne of the opposition front San-Manman (no mother) in Gonaives, just sent for me a fictitious email very important. He asked with great specificity for sharing this with the Mister Corbett list. I translation provided. I have English beautiful after all said, done, and executed. Here is email:

Hi, Sir. I have news for you. This I want for sharing you share it please with Mister Corbett list in United States Great States. Here is new gouvernement Haitian as of tonight, February 7, 2003rd year of this year:

1-President: Me-Moi-and ME ONLY (read: Mister Andy Apaid, no chance; I fight so therefore, I prezidan)

2-Premier Minister: Ti Bwa Chèch aka Butteur Metayer. Although his surname French mean "gives goal in the filè-net", I will not let for him to give me kou deta - coup d'etat after I in power. If he trying, I send him to peyi san chapo - country with no hat. You no know what means that means? oh oh ti gason - little boy; that mean it means I kill for shooting him with 2 bal nan po dada l' (2 shot guns in his little derriere) and one in the head he has he he he

3-My Minister of Interior shall be my most trustworthy individual, my marassa, my twin; she name is Missers Summer Etienne since my name is Mister Winter Etienne. She hot - Hot -HOT!! Feeling it? Oh yeah baby oh yeah!!

4-For Justice in that Ministry, I have hired the most competent jurist in all Haitian jurists. Remember President Emile Jonassaint? No? Oh oh!! Too, too, too bad. This no good not too very good. Well, he die. But his spirit alive. My bókó adviser tell that for me yesterday night in my presdential dream. Dream so nice, I pipi on myself like a little baby. Oh I, I, yes me, ME, I prezidan. It was so nicely nice. So pipi falling on me like a little 4 year-old baby. But ... anyway, I put Jean-Marie Djól-Santi, my personal buddy guard, as Minister of Extra Judicial activity. Every time he has to deliver justiciability, he call upon the spirit extraordinary of the Great Mister Jonassaint for guidance; and the spirit comes through to him, and he justice-iably delivers justice for our moun fou country.

All the bourgeois and the students and the elite fighting demonstration on the street level will have compensatory redevance. The commercants business people compadrore (buyer-seller-but-never-produce) will be able to get all their produces in country without paying import fees. Only the Diaspora will have to pay because the Diaspora never support for us fighting. So they will have to pay the taxes since it no is not their gouvernement. Diaspora had and still has too many Lavalassiens. Lan Mèd pou yo!!! he he he.

I send more for you Later, Mister Meat-Grinding moun fou.

**********

Okay, okay, okay. This was the content of the email as I translation for you. But I anonymous. I no want my tèt-head to be koupe-cut, nor my kay-house-shack to be burn-ingly

DT