22402: anonymous: Re: 22385: Antoine: Men react to Manbo Racine's expose (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

ANONYMOUS BOB

I noticed that Guy had 11 postings from women and 11 postings from men.  The
women were much more offended than the men about Racine's comments.  The men
tended to agree more with Racine.  I have always heard that in Africa the
biggest defenders of cliterectomy are the women.

I also noticed that not one of the women who spoke up had been molested or
raped.  If we are to believe worldwide statistics that 1 out of 3 to 5 women
are sexually assaulted in their lifetime, there should be some women
speaking up with first hand experience of abuse.  I am one of those Haitian
women.  I debated long and hard before posting this.  I was just scared that
Bob would forget to post this anonymously.

Several of my relatives were also victim of sexual imposition by various
people in our immediate and extended families.  I had a classmate who was
impregnated by her own father.  There was no crackdowns on the offenders.  I
have many more stories from the Pre-1986 era.  Today it seems that not a
month goes by without my hearing the news that one more woman I know in
Haiti was raped.  Today rape is common during robberies but many cases
involve young girls and restaveks.

Growing up, it was a rite of passage for the relatives (and even the father)
of 12 to  14 year old boys to take them to the prostitutes.  The boys would
then boast of atrocities they were allowed to do to the prostitutes.   Some
of the prostitutes were very young.

Abuse opportunities arise from the fact that children are raised by the
entire extended family.  There is no direct supervision.  Children are often
called to eat and bathe with not much attention paid to what goes on the
rest of the time.  All the offender has to do is take the victim to a quiet
or hidden place.

Today, when walking in Haiti I hear derogatory sexual comments directed to
me.  Maybe as a survivor or molestation I pay more attention and give more
validity to what is being said.  Young Haitian males with nothing to do take
a sick pleasure in putting down women who appear successful by using words
of sexual domination.

There has been discussion about "sweat shops" on the list.  In many job
environments in Haiti, women are only allowed to get and keep their jobs if
they provide sexual favors to their supervisors. Sexual harassment goes on
in the States too but in Haiti a job is 1000 times more valuable that in the
USA (80% vs. 5% unemployment).  A woman resiting may have to face a crown of
starving children in the evening.

Haitian women often have more that 1 "papa pitit".  The latest men in their
lives do no like to help support children from a previous relationship.
Those are sent to their dad's families who may or may not treat them as
family.  In some cases, only older girls from previous unions are accepted
my the new man of the house.  The girl is seen as valuable since she can
cook, clean and help with new babies.  Unfortunately she is also often used
sexually by the new man in her mother's life.

Yes everything Mambo Racine mentions goes on all the time.  However, it is
not specific to Haiti.  From Biblical times on, men have used their predator
instincts (meant for species survival in the wild) as tools of domination
and self-gratification.  Humans are supposed to be above all other animals
by using reason and empathy to keep those instincts in check.  For some
people though it takes the threat of a big stick to keep them in line.  The
Haitian big stick is broken.  Alcohol and drugs can also unleash those
animal instincts (campus date rapes).

What we have in Haiti is a non-functioning justice system and a denial of
the severity of the sexual abuse problem.  Offenders are not prosecuted.
Judges and police do not respond and in many cases are teh offenders.  If a
man had a child with a woman 20 years before, the society sees it fit that
he gets to have sex with and beat her up her for the rest or her life. This
right is terminated only if she acquires a new man but is reinstated if the
man leaves her.  Poverty encourages the restavek system (a system that has
worked in many cases where single or elderly women took in restaveks).
Family members of the offenders are scared to turn them in since there is no
clear cut punishment for the crime. In addition, the offender is usually
some kind of relative making it even more delicate to wash dirty laundry in
public. Crowded living conditions do not help.  Teenage boys witness the
adults in the one or two room (a curtain being the divider into two rooms)
house having sex.  This private act between two lovers becomes live
pornography.  Pornography does not lead to sexual abuse but virtually all
sexual predators are neck deep into pornography.  Studies after studies show
that a person's future sexual behavior is determined by what goes on in the
adolescent years.  I could go on and on but I will stop.  Hopefully others
with personal experience will have the courage to speak up.