22694: Vedrine: Haiti In the International News (jokes) (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: E Vedrine <evedrine@hotmail.com>


“Haiti In the International News”

jokes
by E. W. VEDRINE


PART I


* Aristide and his family love South Africa better than Republic Centre
Africaine. Mbeki was waiting for them at the airport. The former Laval Ass
leader will soon publish a book on his latest political trips (starting
February 29 2004).

* Brazil's National Soccer Team will soon face Haiti's one next month in
Port-au-Prince (just a friendly match) – The game between the two countries
is one of prime minister The Turtle’s strategies to disarm Haitian bandits
(both “chimères” and “combatants pour la liberté”). Pele may attend this
match.

* Bush has not made up his mind yet whether or not he should replace Dick
Cheney. That’s very personal! He is first checking with his Dad and the
first lady. While waiting, the nation still doesn’t know the whereabouts of
Dick. Many Haitians were a little bit skeptical about Governor Jeb’s recent
campaign in Haiti.

* Clinton’s new book (“My lif”) continues to make news in Haiti after its
recent release. Most people have bought it by mistake ‘cause they thought it
covers a great deal of his love affair with the young white house intern.
The book will be soon translated to Haiti’s official languages.

* Most Haitians say Kerry and Edwards will win in November. Not because they
have the same FIRST NAME, but because the twin brothers will be fighting for
good paying jobs and they we'll be fighting to build a strong military and
lead strong alliances, so young Haitian-Americans are never put in harm's
way.

* Monica will attend the National Democratic Convention in Boston but she
will not talk about her past and present affairs. NOT AT ALL! She’s thinking
of visiting Haiti next year to get more inspiration for a novel she’s been
working on.

* No idea yet who they will choose to be the next president of Haiti. That
panics everyone in the First Independent Black Nation, including politicians
who have started early campaigns.

* Saddam was questioning the young Iraqi judge by investigating his
authority and his legal status (questions such as: who the hell are you?
What’s your name? Who dares put you there? Why the hell you’re working for
the infidels who have invaded Iraq?... a bunch of questions). Iraqis call it
“The trial of the century" because they still can’t believe it; for them
it’s like an Iraqi movie on the big screen. The trial may last long while
the ex-leader is trying to get lawyers from abroad. Hollywood will have a
movie dealing with this historical event. Saddam said he’s still the legal
president of Iraq though he has no power. Haiti won’t send its troops to
Iraq.


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