25337: Du Tuyau: Solutions for all problems (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: viandemoulue@aol.com

For all lovers of Haiti, I have a solution: easy; crisp; simple; efficient;
and effcicacious (my English is improving at the community college rapidly,
exponentially, and seriously and definitely and truthfully and all the ly's).

I see cock-fighting but no chicken-fighting when we talk Haiti. For me, I like
chicken-fighting for some many reasons.
1- I like to eat chicken as a good Haitian.
2- If you fight like chicken, you don't try to kill because you are not a
cock, a rooster.
3- If you fight like chicken, you always try to leave something and no take
everything because you know that behind every mountain, there's a mountain
(dèyè món gen pi gwo món).
4- Chicken reference is female and rooster/cock reference is male. I like
female all-the-time and all-kind. So, my solution is chicken related.

Okay now the solution. I see fight on list between D. Esser, J. Homelstead,
Chamberlain, Jafrikayiti and many people others equally moun fou (no
offensivity, gentlemen and especially ladies). It's good fight because it's
pen-fight; no fizi/gun fight. So for good this is good. But I am careful. I no
send them to Haiti. If I send them to Haiti like Haiti is, they will be put in
line of fire and they may be kidnapped for 20 dollars. But too much problem
for Haiti and we need solution. Solution is simple with a once-in-a-lifetime
price tag. I don't know how much.

I suspect brother Jafrik want to send Haiti back to Afrika (one K) away from
Amerika (three K). Some other brothers and sisters want to send Haiti to
United Great Country States or their "motherland" France. Okay. So, we do
this. Simple.

We ask Mister George Bush and Mister Jacques Chirack for asking Boeing and
Airbus to build special airplane big, Big, BIG, HUGE. And then, we surprise
everyone. We take 90 percent of the people together, put them in 90 percent of
the land, and we ship everything back to Afrika (farm land, kay tonèl and
all). And then we take 10 percent of the land, we ask all people middle class
anti-Titid, blacks, milat, blan, Arab, and then we ship it all to somewhere
geographic between United States and France. Thus, we leave a huge, HUGE
crater in that place called Haiti in Caribbean sea as a museum of stupidity
for the rest of humanity to come and see horror (Tales of the Cryptic and
UFO's).

Problem is, in both cases, people in Africa and people between United States
and France may not want us.

Afrikans may say we come and steal all their oil, diamond, ore, gold, and
everything under the pretext that we're doing politics which is supposed to be
about administration not fake leaders populistics or voleurs/thieves or OP's.

French and United Americans may say they no want us too, neither, for reason
that we no still think not as bourgeois/elite/upper class but as feudalistic
kings, queens, barons, and nobles who want to bring no even serfdom but
slavery back into their already developed country.

In other words, just like we say in beautiful Kreyól, either way nou nan ka,
nou antrave; we're in trouble big time. So maybe true possible solution is
more simpler.

What if we decide to really start for work on the real problems, the issues,
the difficulties and start doing things like what I write below:
- Accept us as ourselves.
- Understand that we are same people with maybe background little different
but with one thing important in common; we Haitians for worser and poorer,
richer and better.
- No body can or will save us but us.
- We may say problems in Haiti is because we no get 1.3 billion dola from IMF
et. al. or 21 billion dola from France et al, but no amount of money can or
will save us. In fact, the money may be our curse just like in the 80's and
90's, diamond was the curse of Sierra Leone and Angola.
- Haiti problem is money too, but the numero uno problem is, our refusal to
work on reformation of the corrupt, backward, vandalistic, crooked, wicked,
stupid, crazy system. So we need to work on system first by reformation
evolutionary and leave the revolutionaries of all kinds (they all the same) in
their ascetic temples, he he he.
- Stop being angry at each other for the fault and mistakes of others. Leave
Aristide alone, and all the others including current moun fous running the
country. Criticize them but don't demonize them.
- Stop adulation or demonization of leaders political; they deserve respect
not unto them but out of respect of the office. (That'll be the day he he he)

But you know, if we do that, what other sports will be left in Haiti? The only
one we have is politics. Oh well, maybe we'll have good cock-fighting andeyó
LIVE on Tele National, a new Tom Pouce, or Manno Sannon, or Pierre Bayonne in
soccer; beautiful tourist ladies showing off their VS (Oh God, such a
prospect; that'll be the day!!! hmm-hmm-hmm); nice schools for many things but
I'm sorry. I had Haitian coffee this morning from a Canadian friend who live
in Bwouklin. Maybe that why is why I dreaming stupidities. Oh well...

Du Tuyau, writing from Jamaica's "Hedonism" beachfront. Nice-nice-nice-nice
hmm-hmm.