26044: Du Tuyau (new, very new NEWS) (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: viandemoulue@aol.com

In light of the fact that recently in the recent past, on Mister Bob Corbett's
list of politics for Haitian politicians-in-their-head, we discussion about
news media bad-mouthing and pro-Lavalas, I went to Haiti for 2 days. I watched
the news and then I visited the prisons. I looked for political prisons; I
don't see any because if you are prisoner for politik and your politik is pro-
Lavalas, then you are no prisoner for politik. You are prisoner for common
right maybe criminal right because Lavalas is equal to criminals/all-of-them.
But I go anyway and I speak with some Lavalas people in fiction interview.
Here is the result of the news from the 2 days-visit in Pótoprens. Read under
the skirt of this line (oops, sorry; English no too good but news below is
always good, so please read).

On the day of 19 August, 2005 of this year, Lavalas people said with former
Diaspora Minister Voltaire that they will inquire Pè Titid, for knowing if
it's okay they can go to elections. Titid, as the father of the party, the
patriarch, the patrician in plebeian attire, the master of all trades, the man
who know all about politic Haitian has yet to answer. Meanwhile, some
politicos everywhere on the internet get almost heart attack every time they
read: Lavalas. It's almost a case classic of moun fou losing their mind even
much more so.

According to the news last weekend on AHP, Dumarsais Simeus became non-
qualifiable. To some very smart Haitians on list of Mister Corbett, it's case
of principled constitutionality and legality from Lockean logic. To some other
even more smarter in the reverse Haitian politicians I spoke with yesterday
morning, Simeus no qualifiable no because he is Haitian-American with lots of
money (and therefore, or simply perhaps, probably will not need to steal
little money if he become  prezidan). Mister Simeus in the stead, became
unqualified because he reached out little bit and spoke to some Lavalas people
for support. Accordingly, in the heads of all Shango-tic Lavalas, Lavalas is
Shango is lougawou. Therefore, in the thereforeness of all things, even if
Mister Simeus was Haitian living in Haiti for 20 years, and no nationality
issue, with the same credentials like he is not razè/not broke, he would have
therefore became inqualifiable because he reached out to Lavalas. Conclusion
logiciel: let's move faster to the back.

On this morning of 23 August 2005, we read in the news that Lavalas want a
repeat of trouble for the country. After a prezidan tèt chaje with scary
language as priest for many who were not too poor, Lavalassiens Haitians are
still looking for their Cardinal Richelieu. This time, they thinking of Pè
Jean-Juste for prezidan. In other words, they preparing for Pè Jean-Juste to
be out of jail and confront little bit very much, the likes and likings of
Chamblain as a free man, who is no Raboteau criminal because he killed Lavalas
partisans before. Therefore, Chamblain is free and should Pè Jean-Juste try to
do repeat like Titid, li taka jwen ak zo grann li tou (sorry, my English no
too good for translation yet). Either way, Jean-Juste would not even have
chance to move back to Miami for refugees help, let alone live in South
Africa. In more likelihood, former senator Gilles and other Lavalas moun fou
want to see Jean-Juste faster behind the Stade Sylvio Cator in Port-au-Prince,
where he would be resting for ever. Translation: cemetery. Why Lavalas like
Gilles want Jean-Juste for prezidan I have no idea or understanding of. Why
Lavalas no can see that presidency is "poisonous gift" in Haitian political
culture, only given to those you want to fail, is absolutely beyond me. That's
okay because I am dumb anyway. I no can ever understand masochist, except when
girl pinches me in the kabann/bed. But anyway, maybe still little bit of
circular reasoning too, for Lavalas moderates even.

Okay, I need to call lwa Shango and see if he can send me some thunderous
words to speak next week. I have conference to go to in Mirebalais, and I
understand that my kidnapper has already put a bounty on my head. Fortunate
for me, kidnapper understand already that I am worth no more than trant (30)
pias. So please pipol-people friends, send for me your change so I can pay him
the bounty. 30 pias value is no even 5 dola United States. But anyway, I just
hope it's a woman kidnapper in tight jeans. I'll tell her some sweet words and
maybe she'll free me with lots of li'l luv.

Bye-bye for now, with news Du Tuyau-esque

----- End forwarded message -----