26158: Du Tuyau: Interview with Sir (Charlito) Baker (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: viandemoulue@aol.com

I am just returning today on a voyage. Like I say last week, I go to Haiti.
Everybody nice to me. Looking like Diaspora, I paid my ransom to my "lady"
kidnappeuse. She smile and let me go, and then, I go to accomplish my mission.

For two days straight, I have interview with people of the politics of Haiti.
I meet first with the gentleman of all trades, businessman and entrepreneur
and activist and now politician, Charles (aka Charlito) Baker. Here is
transcript below.

DT- Good Morning, Sir maybe-future-prezidan; happy to see you and talking to
you. I am journalist today because I interview with you. I know you're
candidate but people mad because they say you have no party and just want to
buy your way to the prezidans. True or no true?

Charlito (Baker)- Let me first say (okay, I try no to speak French and only
English because I know you no speak French at all; only brown-ish English)...
So, let me first say that I am proud, of my heritage of Black, African,
American, White, and maybe even little bit Indian blood. I look red but I am
all color; that's one of the reasons I think I'll make better prezidan than
tèt chaje / heavy-headed Aristide.
On the subject of money, I have little money but not much very much so. Look,
Mister Simeus has for at least 100 million; I have maybe 5 to 10 million, 10
percentage point of what he has for money. So I no try to buy my way to the
prezidans.

DT-  Okay, okay ... so what's your project, Mister Charlito?
Baker- My project is two-fold. First fold, I want to make sure that Aristide
never comes back to Haiti; Second fold, I want to make sure that all the
streets are clean and beautiful and that we have a regime of legality as I see
it.

DT- Do you have plans for Cite Soleil and Bel-Air?
Charlito (Baker), pensive- Yes, ...oh yes... We will clean it up the way is
best for people to come and visit these places. We want to have transformation
of these areas so we no more have populist in them. Maybe we start by giving
little money for all citizens so they can buy things for themselves.

DT- But you will be broke that way, because maybe we have little bit more than
1 million people between these two places?
Baker- No, That's Lavalas propaganda; we have maybe half that.
DT- Okay so half that, with you 10 million dola maybe, you no have enough
money for all these people?
Baker- What are you, crazy? You think I give MY money to Bel-Air? oh oh? You
really crazy, fou?!!! I take money from State taxes?

DT- Mister Baker, this was what Titid did, they say ... give money to OP's to
protect his base in shanty towns; so you do what he did?
Baker- No. I no do like Titid. He did that for power; I do it for love; love
of the people and the masses.

DT- Other question. Do you think of you like a milat, or like a Haitian?
Baker- No, I think of me as a natif-natal, a true Haitian. My skin is red, no
white, no black. We all have red in us: the blood of all of us is red; that's
my koulè/color.

DT- Okay, okay. Now, Do you decentralize, or centralize more? Mister Anthony
Barbier of G-184 accusation to you of dictator apprentice. Is it true?
Baker- I no dictatorship; dictatorship is Aristide. I am democrat with
republican philosophy. I no like centralization. I like de-centralization. We
decentralize the army, so they can check the people in the back country for
more protection for them. We decentralize everything, the road, the rain, the
hurricanes, the streets, the institutions, the judiciary... it's democracy,
DT. democracy ... (at this point, Charlito was all smiles).

DT- Oh, okay ... So, do you decentralize Neptune and Jean-Juste too?
Baker- They are not centralized; if you don't believe me, ask RNDDH of Ms.
Yolene and Mister Esperance. They the two best human rights groups in Haiti.
They defend us first, those who can do the best for Haiti and have been doing
the best for Haiti since Haiti start as country. They're good.
(Charlito Baker, now mad) Du Tuyau, you are a ti frekan, an enmmerdeur, a
provocateur, a crazy s.o.b., an énergumène. I no want for speaking with you no
more. You ask me the wrong-est of all questions. Go speak for interview with
Mister Simeus. Please publish too. I want to know what this Diaspora think.
These Diaspora people are starting to cause trouble. They're start to think
now, they gonna take over from us bourgeoise, the true elite, the ones who
care always, ALWAYS for Haiti. We have to find way to keep them out. OUT!!
OUT!! They are dangerous. Soon, we no more can do politik like we used to.
That's why we will fight for NO, absolutely no double-nationality. They get on
my nerves. Everything fine but these diaspora people say everything no good.
GET OUT OF MY FACE, Du Tuyau.

So I left fast, ran, and put the tape of interview in my front of my pants.
People laugh at me on streets, because they think I have other problem because
I look at girls walking down the streets. They don't know it's the "Charlito"
tape. Anyway. Maybe next week, I publish interview with Mister Simeus. I speak
with him too, and also Mister Bazin too.

Stay tuned...
DT