26206: Du Tuyau: Interview fictitious with Mister Bazin (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: viandemoulue@aol.com

I walked into the lighted room, in a country where electricity is tèt nèg /
expensive. I have a feeling for suspicion, that as a politician for long long
time, this light is no kombèlann / stolen from EDH. I am suspiciously and
unverifiably but certainly sure, that Mister Bazin is using Irveurteur
(whatever they call that stuff now in Haiti, like private source of electric
power). The room is stately. Bazin, bright and shiny in his western attire,
looks like a Zaïrois Prince ready to hop on his black horse with white tail. I
walked up to him, shy as the almost 6 foot tall, 145 pound man I am, and he
takes my hand on the right for squeezing it like shaking my hand. At this
point, I am MAD, FURIOUS!! Skinny me, and the guy hurtful to me before we
start for talking even. He try for putting me at ease and say:
-How are you, DT?
DT- Man, don't try to be nice. You hurtful like that. Do you have any dlo sèl
(salted water) for me to get a men rale/hand massage?

He laughing at me but I still mad so I say to him: "fortunately, I just spoke
with politician rich like Mister Simeus". Bazin looks at my red, Papa Azizwèl
eyes, think little bit for a moment, and say to me in English perfectionist:

- Well, it is not about the money... Imagine for one instant, multi-
billionaire Bill Gates waking up one morning with billionaire Oprah Winfrey's
money; he'd have a heart attack out of depression.

So I laugh a little fast, and I start asking question for speaking to him.

DT-    How's politics in these days of politics Haitian?
Bazin-     It ain't bad. Some people thought I crazy because I worked with
Baby Doc. They no realize I think future. They no realize I know Haitians like
to long for the orderly past, even if past no too good. Now I can claim I
worked for the Baby; Gallup poll just say he is better president Haiti had in
last 20 years, according to Gallup sondage ... sorry, polling of Haitians.

DT-      How do you tell people you worked for so many politicians before,
like Baby Doc, Cedras, Aristide, etc?
Bazin-      I have one goal. My one goal is a better Haiti for country for all
people everybody. I no have time for makout, chimere, bourgeois, lavalas,
right, left or no nothing like that. My motto is simple motto: nou mele / we-
in-trouble. So if I can help some gouvernement, I help with expertise I have.

DT-         Is this why you flirt little bit sometimes with Lavalas partisans
telling sweet words to them? Sometimes, some people leftie get mad little bit.
One time for one example, in 2003, one anti-Aristide calls you as anonymous on
Corbett list, he calls you something like Marc Bouzin instead of your last
name, Bazin. How you feel about people criticize like that?
Bazin-     It no matter, DT. It doesn't matter. The question is for all
questions, how do we get off and out of the box? Can we? Yes? Will we? It
depend on our desire for questionning our intransigence political and think
for the country we have first. That problem is our biggest problem. We all
make mistakes, have faults little bit but by the finality of things, we all
responsible for our responsibility towards the country of ours.

DT-     I will go soon but I have 2 more questionnings.
Bazin-     Go ahead.

DT-     First questionning, What you think of other candidacies for prezidan?
Bazin- Which?

DT-     I give you 2 and you give me answer for both: Mister Baker and Mister
Simeus.
Bazin-   Well, ... I glad that Baker is stepping out as political guy. I no
sure how far he goes because with too much difficulty with controversies
against him from the other side. For Mister Simeus, I think is good finally,
Diaspora is stepping out. I suspicious that should he win for presidency, he
would be in deep difficulty because, they use against him very effectively the
problem of nationality. It's hell out here for politics. If you're no here for
long time and get close to it, you no realize the dangerous difficulty you
will have to make any changes positive. He would be bombarded. I no have no
envy for him. I hope I win. Would you support me, DT?

DT-    I no politician; I am only fake jounalis. I ask fictitious questionning
and you answer fictitiously for speaking to me. I live in Brooklyn, USA. I no
can help you in no way. I still learning English, little bit, at Community
College EOSL class for the evening. I no can help you. I sorry.
Bazin-    With some flyers back in NY, can you helping little bit?

DT-    No one take me in seriousness; my English no too good is very bad; my
French is atrociously unspeakeble or understandable; my basement apartment
wall already has lots of paper on wall because I have no US dollar to buying
for painting of "Sherwin Williams". So I no can help. Maybe some day, I help
for helping you, if my English is better little bit. But now in the meantime
of meanwhiles, I am neutrally watching like a soccer game in Stade Sylvio
Cator, Racing versus Violette 1970's. I stuck in the past of football Haitian
I no political at all. I no understand nothing.

He shook my hand again, firmly less painful than the time before we start
interview, and I leave. I walk down the street and I see one man following to
me, like I am kamoken under Papa Doc, with the man's eyes covered with black-
looking sunglasses, like ready to shoot me with gun I no see, maybe under his
shirt. I run to a taxi fast, and ask chauffeur to drop me off near Portail
Leogane, or maybe Marche en Fer. When I see I am in taxi, senesóv/sane-and-
safe, I so happy that I start reciting Psalm 23 in my heart that is beating
fast:
"The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want...".

Suddenly, I hear someone singing my favorite Vodou song: "Latibonit oh yo voye
rele mwen". I jumped out of the cab, pay chauffeur and walked to the man
singing. Lots of attraction there for girls dancing to the tune of the drum. I
take a sip of kleren/poor people's alcohol with one of them, and I start
dancing too. Oh... what happened next? I'll never tell ya'!!! I no kiss and
telling like that.

Du Tuyau, having electoral fun.

----- End forwarded message -----