8035: Re: 8013: Re: 8003: Re: 7996: Re: 7994: Re: 7987: Social Services (fwd): Corbett interjects a distinction.... (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: haiti@ixks.com
 
>
>This certainly isn't unique to Haitian women!  Bashing Haitian women is not 
>the answer.
>
That's what I like about my relationships with Haitian women -- they are not
hung up on silly politically correct, stereotypical thinking.  They all say
what they think, good or bad.  We compliment each other many many times a
day, touch, laugh and tease. We talk about the things we like about each
other and also the things we don't.  My Haitian women friends talk openly
about skin color, body type, or sex --  and are not the least bit afraid of
saying  'american' kids are so bad mannered because we spoil them.  That
doesn't mean they are bashing me.  And I can tell them they are mean and
heartless when they braid my hair.  They laugh.  It's only we hung up,
stereo-typing, judgemental 'americans' that jump to the conclusion that
someone is being bashed because another person mentioned as aspect of their
culture that is seen as harmful or negative.  In fact, I would really get a
bang out of seeing and hearing their reactions to that accusation!  Woy!  

>Think rationally.  

<yawn>

I have some Haitian friends who have been thinking about this particular
aspect of their culture (women getting pregnant to secure a relationship
with a man) and have decided to refrain from making babies for any man who
does not first marry them and show his faithfulness.  It think that's a
pretty good idea, personally.  Especially considering the economic condition
of the country, and knowing on a very personal level what life is like for a
single mother in Haiti.  But I am not naive enough to think that just
because some foreign mission pulls up in Port-au-Prince with a boat-load of
birth control pills or kapot, that women in Haiti are all going to stop
getting pregnant for reasons mentioned, OR that Haitian men are going to
stop trying to get women pregnant that they don't intend to marry or support
financially.  Doesn't mean I am bashing the culture -- just a fact -- like
saying my hair is kanal and hers is nwa.

C. Henrius