14377: Du Tuyau's zombi, and Thor Burnham's UFO's (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: ViandeMoulue@aol.com

Dear Mister Burnham,
I sorry I no answer you to you last night in the evening. When I home house got back last night from restaurant, I new girl-friend come to see me. Oh I happy. I so happy I cook for her my new salad, Christophe salad, with butter Margarine, aran só boukannen (smoking herring), lettuce iceberg and lettuce romaine. She like it mucho-muchissimo.
But then cold, cold night and she keep her bioutifoul-beautiful coat fake fur coat on, with only under, bioutifoul clothes-garment Victoria Secret. I put chandail-jacket on and we go outside. I say I want admire beautiful cold night with her, like I romantic me. But I lie because I want to see UFO's. We look at sky, look at sky, and look at sky. She likes stars, moon, everything. I look, look, look but I still no see UFO's. I try North look, South look, East and West look. I no see and maybe, it's because I no know well direction. You say in you post that Northern lights sometimes look UFO's. I no good at direction like this because when I come United Great States 23 months before, I go get on boat in Mariani. I take bus on Portail Leogane and I say I going North with friend on bus. He tells me no; we're going South first, and then maybe North through boat canter. So you see, I no good direction yet. Maybe one day, I see UFO's.
Anyway, you ask questions lots of questions on regarding zombi. I no know all answers. You give many anecdotal anecdotes to illustration your beautiful points. I no able to know if true or if no true. You Haiti; I United Great States. But I know also many anecdotal anecdotes that says different other side that truthfully true too. I can tell you some little things I understand little bit.
You ask what zombi is? I no sure. But I remember my mommy said all time all the time when I small child: zombi goute sèl, li fè labouyi farine ak dlo lanmè. That mean in beautiful English my English: Zombi tastes salt, likes salt, and cooks oatmeal with salty water from sea water.
You understand? Maybe I no good explaination before but that mean simple like this to me. People say in Haiti that when you have zombi, you no give zombi food with salt because salt awakens normal mental state on people. If one day you give zombi salt, zombi no more zombi. Zombi now normal people. So zombi before so afraid to get back becoming zombi again, former zombi puts salt in all food, even oatmeal former zombi puts salt in it because no want never again to be zombi.
So that is what happen Haiti in Haiti. Most people no know before that they can influentially say something in life of country. You try democracy with all people. You give all people 1 ballot and you say, you choose your gouvernement. People vote and wow!!! They get gouvernement they want. Maybe gouvernement no good job at all but that's their gouvernement. So they say: I all that power? I no more let people give me gouvernment if I no approve first. I clear now?
Okay, okay, maybe no I still no clear. But it's like this. When you tell people demokrasi before, you maybe think demokrasi filalang. You know, you stick tongue out, then you quick quick quick put tongue back in mouth. Persons no have time to grab tongue. But persons quick quick quick and say: I no want demokrasi filalang. I want demokrasi tout bon.
People no mechan-wicked, Mister Burnham. People no hate rich, like some say. Believe me. If you want people vote for partner your partner, you talk to them with little respect, like you know: Onè, respè. You me understand? That way, they onè and respè to you too. That way, maybe they vote for your partner.
Have bioutiful, beautiful day, Mister Burnham.
Du Tuyau tèt cho, thinking like moun fou truthfully so.