14416: Ti Boulejambon replies to Gwo Du Tuyau, chiens pay and verbal rigwaz (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: thor burnham <thorald_mb@hotmail.com>

Posted by Ti Thorcito Burnham Jr. in Port-au-Prince:

Dear ViandeMoulue in the United States great states:

Now you've got ME shaking my head, shaking my head. You say you are always
so confuse, but now I one who confuse. See, now i'm even typing like you!!
But I thought we were friends Monsier Du Tuyau!!!???? I thought we
connected, man!? You told me about your fake fur girlfriend and victoria's
secret garden salad and the dirty dishes restaurant and the crispy salad
Christophe and your boss's good english proper and the cold nights late and
your journalist friend's UFO's...we shared so much, Du Tuyau...does it have
to end like this????? Oh my, I'm very dekouraje. sigh. Where's the love,
man?

Sorry that you took "Ti" to mean paternalistic condescension, but it would
be too bad if you took offense where none was intended. And none was
intended. I swear, tout bon. Am i mad and fache? Yes, but not as you
interpret it and not in my last post and not about what you think. Maybe
it's because i don't sleep well at night with all the roosters and chiens
outside my house. They seem to rotate from the canine chorus to the 10
rooster opera like a broken record. Oh those chiens!!! They make me fou. And
i can't really tell the owners to put them inside, can I? Any suggestions?

In my own defense I've always understood "Ti" as a term of endearment or
friendship. You know, I guess i was thinking in the same way they call Jean
Chretienne "le p'tit gar" from Shawinigan, kind of like the underdog or the
little guy who has to fight the gwo negs. I guess I was wrong Mister Du
Tuyau. But my Kreyol is like your English, and i often make mistakes, as you
say each and every post.

But you know, when my Haitian friends call me "ti thor", or "ti bo" or "ti
blan" or "ti tet chov" or "ti bout patate", i don't get the feeling they are
being paternalistic. But maybe they are being paternalistic and i'm not
paying enough attention. Maybe I should go talk to them. But if you are
right about the "Ti" i'll now have to ask them to address me only as
Monsieur Burnham like you do. No more ti nom jouets. A la Koze, sa fini
net!! So, I guess Titid is no longer Titid?

So after I read that my signifying self was paternalistic I went and
immediately asked four different people about the word "ti" in front of
names and how this guy i thought was my good friend, tout bon, is upset at
me for calling him "Ti Moulue" instead of Mister Du Tuyau. They all agreed
it depends on the context of the relationship. They're right, too. And now
that you have clearly defined the parameters of said relationship, I know
better. So you are correct, i don't have the right to call you "Ti"
anything. Mea culpa mil fwa. I didn't know you would understand it as such.
But your verbal rigwaz kind of hurt a "ti" bit, truth be told, because it
seems you want both a distraction from the subject at hand and to make the
discussion about me.

Reminds me of a friend here who rented a car from another friend. He paid a
bunch of money up front to give the car owner time to prepare the car etc.
They came to a verbal agreement about price, expectations and repairs. Both
of them were really happy with the arrangement. But, unfortunatley when my
friend got the car it immediately had problems. My friend talked to the car
owner and asked him about the original agreement and all the money he paid
up front. The car owner said, no problemo, you fix it and i'll pay back
cause i'm short on money. My friend trusts the guy so he fixes the problem.
The week after that, same thing. Two months pass and my friend keeps paying
more and more money to keep the car on the road. Finally he decides he has
to resolve the situation, so he asks to talk to the car owner. He starts to
complain that the agreement they had isn't being followed and that he's
spending a lot of time and money on the car, which he didn't plan on. He
says he's not sure he can continue the way things are going.
The car owner becomes very angry and accuses my friend of being very
arrogant. "You have no right to talk to me that way!" he screams at my
friend.  My friend is shocked and says no he's not being arrogant, but
rather that the car owner is not living up to his end of the bargain. Then
they begin to argue about whether or not my friend is being arrogant.
Finally the car owner stormed away, shouting that he would no longer talk to
someone who was so arrogant and condescending.

You know what, you've given me an idea. Maybe if i tell my neighbours that
their dogs are crazy, or rabid, they'll get rid of them for me. You know the
proverb, "Si ou vle nwaye chien ou, di moun ke li fou"? See, that's what i
think you are doing Monsieur Du Tuyau. By calling me one of Ms. Renda's
paternalistic marines, you are trying to tell me to shut up, pa vre?

But that's fine. If you don't want to talk about salt and zombies and UFO's
and resignations and victoria secret's bodies etc., because you think I'm
paternalistically condescending signifyingly so, I understand. It's not the
first time a personal attack has been launched to discredit what someone
says, or an accusation levelled so as to change the subject at hand.

Meanwhile, the price of salt keeps rising. no end in sight. plus ca
change...

Best to you Mister Jean Du Tuyau of the ViandeMoulue,
Thor Burnham

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