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#2225: Ode to lougawou: Antoine waxes poetic

From: Guy Antoine <GuyAntoine@windowsonhaiti.com>

Ode to Lougawou

Behind the death of every infant or toddler, 
there is a lougawou...
Behind every premature or unexpected death, 
there is a lougawou...
And rare the death that is expected at all.

Behind any successful entrepreneur,
married to a lady from out of town, 
there is, of course, a lougawou...
To insure the success of her husband, 
every child in town is fair game to her charms.
Haitian children are born immune to death 
and disease, until the lougawou strikes!

Behind any man or woman 
who climbs the ladder out of poverty, 
there is a lougawou...

Behind every vache qui rit 
and every vache qui pleure,
and a capsized ferry boat,
there is, of course, a lougawou...

Sometimes, I have bad luck 
for no reason whatsoever.
I wonder if among the lurkers 
on this venerated forum
there might not be... a lougawou.

Lougawou, si se wou, di se wou wi!

As a charter member of NCDL, the National Coalition for 
the Defense of Lougawou (descendants of Anglo-Saxon 
werewolves), I must vigorously protest all the malicious 
Corbettist propaganda regarding our indigenous lougawou,
a dedicated bunch of social workers who have for several 
centuries performed the thankless job of taking small children 
away from very, very bad parents.  

What would happen if we did let those children grow?  
We failed our duty only once, when we had the chance to take 
away Jean-Bertrand Aristide at the tender age of seven months, 
and see what happened to the country since that single point 
of failure nearly 45 years ago!

How can one explain such verbal abuse in the face of all the 
good we have accomplished?  In truth, we are the catfish of 
modern society, yet people are terribly envious of our powers.
Our unfailing service to humanity has obliged us to cultivate
extraordinary talents over the years.  

In sparsely wooded Haiti, assuming the form of a wolf, like our 
predecessors, would hardly provide cover.  We had to learn to 
fly, so we became bats and firebirds ( what did you expect? )  

To those who ask for evidence of what appears to fly in the 
face of Modern Evolutionary Theory, we only have three letters 
to say: DNA ( Do Not Ask ).

Why should we reveal our secrets when we have been 
persecuted throughout History?  We simply go about doing 
what we must do, in spite of the zillion evangelists who come 
to Haiti for the unique purpose of hunting us down.  We 
suspect that this book they carry is nothing but a manual of 
warfare instructions secretly coded and adapted from the 
School of the Americas.  

Oh, would not they go to Sarajevo instead!  There's your cat...  
His name is Milosevic!  Leave us alone, for batman's sake!

So we continue to save Haiti, while you are bent on 
exterminating our breed.  Your tactics are vile and cruel. 
Knowing that we have to shed our human skins for our
transformation into other living forms, and attending our 
mission to Save the Children, you shamelessly spread 
salt and piman on our skins you occasionally discover 
on tree branches or your rooftops.
How many times must we hear your manic laughs to 
our shrills and discomfort when we suit on as we must 
before daybreak, our marinated skins?  

Oh, SHAME ON YOU!  Some of us die in this process,
you know, which means more baby Aristides will grow...  

Do you care that some of our unfortunate sisters have to 
abandon their skins and seek refuge at the old building 
of the Ministry of Agriculture?  There they are forced to 
spend the rest of their lives in batlike forms...  and stil
you will not grant them the peace that they deserve!

In spite of it all, we pity you.  We ask the lwa to forgive 
you, because you do not know what you do.  

Furthermore, we are secured in the knowledge that 
we have lived, we live, and we will live.        

For the Executive Committee,

Guy S. Antoine
Charter Member of NCDL