[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
6716: Re: 6631: Stressed families struggle to relate (fwd)
From: C&C Henrius <carolineislands@hotmail.com>
>....said Marcelin, who with her husband, Louis, a UM sociologist
and anthropologist, is researching drug use and gang activity among
Haitian youths. ``Parenting in Haiti and parenting here is not the same...
Boy howdy, is that ever the truth! I just returned from spending time with
a couple of our kids in Haiti -- 3 and 4 years old -- and was it ever a
thrill ride. I kept the kids with me for several days and I'm still not
sure if they adore me because of genuine feelings toward me or because I
don't spank and yell. The minute they are left in my care and the Haitian
women are out of range, they go wild. They run and dance and make a huge
rucus. They climb on me and kiss me and laugh for hours. And they don't
listen to a single thing I say because I won't yell and make an evil face.
And when I got desperate and tapped the 4 year old on the butt, he just fell
back on the bed, slapping his thighs and said, "Woy! Kawolin, ou fE m ri
twOp!" and off they went again. It was a regular circus, and I love them so
much I really didn't mind even though they were wild and crazy. The hugs
and kisses and long conversations were worth it all. But it does raise the
question as to how a person coming to the U.S. from Haitian culture would
make that change in parenting, especially if the child is older, like early
teens. I see in my own experience that these children are so conditioned to
yelling and spanking (*hard* spankings) that they really don't respond to
anything else. This problem is a real challenge. It makes me wonder how
we can resolve our cultural differences and how far we have a right to go in
dictating to Haitian-Americans as to how they can and can not parent their
own children. I remember my husband telling how he once saw a Haitian woman
and her teenage daughter getting off the plane in Port-au-Prince. The
minute they passed immigration the woman started thrashing the girl and
saying, "call the police NOW... call social services NOW..." and the people
all laughed heartily. There's a story in that, I bet. Then there's the
bank account. The Haitian-American teenager gets $50 US deposited in
his/her name each time they act out. When there's enough money in there to
buy a ticket to Port-au-Prince, they are off for 6 months with grandma and
grandpa so far in the mountains you never see electric light. The second
time it's a year. The third time, they have to get back to the states on
their own.
C. Henrius
_________________________________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.