14096: Du Tuyau and Aristide interview Aristide just talks (fwd)

[Bob Corbett <corbetre@webster.edu>]

From: ViandeMoulue@aol.com

Mister Corbett,

I hope you please publish my extraordinary fictitiously proposed
interview with the Haiti presidential leader, Jean-Bertrand Aristide.

Du Tuyau: ----Mister ultimately president, do you know why people talk a lot all time about you? Do you knowingly aware of awareness, that 8 million people Haitian politicians Haiti and Diaspora and everybody talk say things all time about you, more than the greatest most powerfully powerful president on the planet earth of the world, Mister George W. Bush?

Aristide: ----- Yes, Mister The Hose, sorry, Mister Du Tuyau. But are you Haitian in Haiti country? If you Haitian, you vote for Lavalas in 2003?

Du Tuyau: ----- Mister Aristide, I ask questions all time. You answer question every time. Yes, I very much Haitian natif-natal. I don't know if I vote yet in 2003. I now United States live and I work Dish-Washer restaurant in beautiful restaurant every day. Food really good. Specially the manje dómi.

Aristide: ----- Okay donk, c'est-à-dire, you no voter yet... okay, maybe par la grâce de Dieu god willingly, you get green-card soon and come vote for Lavalas. Okay now, you know lakay se lakay. Okay. So that's next slogan for Diaspora next elections: lakay, se lakay. Home is home sweet home in English.

Du Tuyau: ----- Thank you Sir, president of the extraordinary small country. Now, why president Mister Aristide, all people want your job?

Aristide: ---- Okay Du Tuyau, Mister Du Tuyau, ask my beautiful Minouche. The chairs are nicely nice. The food is good. The diri ak djon-djon we can eat every day no problemo. The turkey is no turkey kennedy, it's koden, bon jan koden, with bon gryio ak pikliz. Minouche always eyes on me because, all girls after me. I president, you understand? Okay, okay. Plus, addition plus, I go other country all time and everybody say :"oh...Mister the Excellency of the Excellence of Haiti" with revered reverence. So all opposition jalou-jealous for the job maybe, or maybe think they do better for the country. But nobody say nothing how they do better.

Du Tuyau: ---- I understand, understandably so. Next questionable reply from you Mister Excellency excellence president Aristide. Do you think you finish term?

Aristide: ---- Ecoutez, listen, I president for all time in my life and all lives in people's my people heart. I president yesterday, today, tomorrow, 7 Février 2006 and after when I retire Tabarre in my small beautiful propriété. I fight for small people. Small people fight for me too. I have big job. Opposition think I am bókó, I say I houngan.

Okay Mister Du Tuyau, I go now, I have 6 telephone calls right now. I very busy. I have Mister Einaudi on the telephone red, Mister Powell on the telephone grey, Mister Otto Reich on the telephone brown, Mister Kompè Plim on the telephone blue joure-ing (sorry insulting) me, Mister Hipolito Mejia from the other wing of the beautifully bird (the Dominican Republic) in the telephone yellow (map bal kat jon), and Mister Jacques Chirac who wants me to talk bon français avec lui. So I therefore and logically therefore have to go.

But Mister Du Tuyau don't forget, Lakay .... se lakay. (wink)

Okay, interview finished!!!

Du Tuyau